Thursday, 11 June 2015

Loss,love and lessons

Five years.Five LONG years have rolled by since my brother went to be with Jesus.A lot has happened in these years, and I often think how different life would be if he was still around.How my daughter would have enjoyed bike and car rides with her 'maama' ,how his sense of humor would've made our family gatherings merrier,how his presence would've made our vacations more fun....We miss him.Yet God had a plan, the mystery of which I would never grasp.But we know by faith that everything happened according to His perfect timing and plan.

It's not until you lose a loved one ,you realize how much family means to you.In the wink of an eye, your loved ones can be gone.Just like that.I realized that life has been given to love-to love those around,to love selflessly and unconditionally,to give and forgive.There is no point in harboring bitterness or holding a grudge against anyone.Really.

Birthdays ,anniversaries have always been joyous occasions at home to reminisce about God's faithfulness.Growing up,my brother and I used to make cards for Mom or Dad for their birthdays.On his last birthday,though abroad, I managed to call him at midnight IST (Well,I wanted to be the first to wish!). The previous year,I remember making a special breakfast for him since my parents were away and I even gave the homemade kesari to a neighbor.These small celebrations created memories.Memories that will linger on and be cherished forever.

Sheryl Sandberg,on the recent loss of her husband writes,"I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, “Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.” My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before." Everyday with your loved one is a gift.Cherish it.Celebrate it.

They say,'In every pew sits a broken heart'.When tragedy struck,not only did we become more aware of the comforting embrace of a faithful God but also our eyes were opened to the suffering of those around us.There were people with far greater problems than my loss.Pain had a purpose and we were were comforted to comfort.

Friends matter.Friends who stick with you for the long haul.I remember that tragic night when so many of our family friends came over and stayed well beyond midnight.We are thankful for those friends who sat quietly as we grieved,who were available at a moment's notice,who made us food, who prayed with us,who prayed for us,who visited us,who gave us their resources,energy and time.One piece of advice my mom gave to us, newlyweds back then, was this- "Gain friends.Friends on whom you can depend on anytime,anywhere.They matter a lot."

Life here is short.As God's children, we are called to live life in light of eternity.Living life from an eternal perspective changes our priorities ,our values ,our relationships and our character.Paul in his second letter to Timothy writes," I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

At the end of my race ,will I be able to say that?Will you be able to say that?



One of my favourite pictures with my brother.

Ragil,meet you on the other side.we miss you!














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